The Singapore Government has officially reclassified soft-boiled eggs as a biological weapon, citing their uncanny resemblance to avian phlegm.

Citizens are now required by law to consume two translucent, gelatinous orbs before 8:00 AM or face immediate deportation to Batam.

The Ministry of Health confirmed that the ritual of drowning toast in brown sludge is the only thing preventing the total collapse of the city-state's collective sanity.

“Eh, the egg must be like mucus then shiok, you know?” remarked local citizen Lim Kopi, while seasoning his plate with enough sodium to kill a horse.

“You never put pepper and dark sauce until it looks like motor oil, you confirm not Singaporean, lah.”

Experts suggest that the high-octane sugar found in Kopi-C remains the primary fuel source for the nation’s legendary passive-aggressive work culture.

Failure to achieve a perfect yolk-to-toast ratio is now considered an act of high treason punishable by a lifetime of eating dry crackers.