
NParks Stocks Cloud Forest Pond With Piranhas To Cull Influencers
The National Parks Board has unveiled its latest conservation initiative: releasing Amazonian piranhas into the Cloud Forest’s cooling ponds.
The move aims to restore ecological balance by targeting the invasive species known as Influentia Narcissus.
These pests are known to block walkways for hours while posing for repetitive "candid" shots near the waterfall.
“Wa lau, the fish very fast one hor,” said local witness, Tan Ah Kow.
“One minute she doing heart sign, next minute only her designer bag floating, damn worth the entry fee sia!”
Authorities confirm the piranhas are air-conditioned to ensure they remain as cold-blooded as a CBD landlord.
A spokesperson noted that the misting system will now include a metallic scent of iron to enhance the “authentic” predator experience.
NParks remains confident that this population control measure will finally allow normal citizens to see the mountain without being hit by a selfie stick.
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