Prime Minister Lawrence Wong has heartened the nation by promising that Singapore’s AI revolution will not cause unemployment, provided you identify as a ChatGPT plug-in.

The Government’s "no jobless growth" guarantee ensures that while your actual role is deleted, you will be "augmented" into a high-value position as a human heat-sink for a local data centre.

"We aren't replacing you," explained one official while installing a liquid-cooling tube into a former analyst’s esophagus.

"We are simply upgrading Sinkies into organic data-entry nodes who finally stop whining about Work-Life Balance and CPF contributions."

The new Champions of AI programme will help redundant PMETs pivot from "Regional Director" to "Server Rack Dust-Wiper" with just 600 mandatory hours of SkillsFuture TikToks.

Ministerial experts note that economic growth remains robust because the AI now counts as a resident, and unlike you, it doesn't need a BTO flat to feel fulfilled.

At least the robots won't ask for a pay raise to afford a medium-sized McSpicy meal.