The rare lesser mousedeer, a creature so shy it usually only appears in wet dreams or high-SES nature documentaries, was spotted at Pasir Ris Park at 3am by a woman who clearly has nothing better to do with her life.

Stomper Lakshmi caught the "living fossil" on camera, immediately ruining the poor animal’s night by screaming “Hello!” like a total siao lang while it was just trying to find a quiet place to pang sai in peace.

The animal, which is one of the world’s smallest hoofed creatures, was seen sprinting away at top speed because it realized it was about to become the latest viral sensation for bored office workers to look at while ignoring their miserable children.

Wildlife experts suggest the mousedeer was likely at Pasir Ris at 3am to avoid the usual crowd of sweaty PMD cyclists, illegal fishermen, and couples dry-humping in the dark corners of the mangroves.

“I saw the deer and I felt a connection,” said Lakshmi, who apparently thinks a wild animal running for its life is a sign of a blossoming friendship rather than a desperate attempt to escape a predator with a smartphone.

NParks has spent decades on intensive habitat enhancement, only for the deer to realize that no amount of reforestation can protect it from a Sinkie with a TikTok account and zero social cues.

The mousedeer is currently listed as endangered, a status it is reportedly trying to upgrade to "completely extinct" just so people will finally stop shouting at it in the middle of the fucking night.

Local residents are cautioned that if they see a rare animal, they should remain quiet and respectful, but we all know you’re going to chase the poor lanjiao thing into traffic just to get featured on Stomp.

The creature’s ancestors survived for millions of years, but five seconds of interaction with a Singaporean woman has reportedly made it lose the will to live.

If you see a mousedeer, please do not say hello, as the animal does not speak English and would much prefer it if you just fucked off back to your HDB.