Singaporeans are currently flocking to "wellness boutiques" to pay exorbitant fees for the privilege of being strapped into medieval-style torture devices.

The "Pilates Reformer," a machine clearly designed by a sadistic Victorian hangman, has become the ultimate status symbol for those who find sitting on a sofa too productive.

Participants willingly hook their limbs into pulley systems that threaten to launch their femurs through the soundproof glass of the Orchard Road studio.

"The instructor pull the strap until my bone crack like ikan bilis, but she say is for 'core strength', so I just diam-diam and suffer lor," remarked 34-year-old fitness enthusiast, Cheryl Tan.

"Every time I go, I feel like I kena interrogation by secret police, but at least the branded leggings make my backside look damn solid."

Experts suggest that paying to be publicly drawn and quartered is the only way high-strung locals can truly switch off their brains.