A 57-year-old Senja Road woman has been praised for her radical commitment to time-management by bypassing the notoriously slow estate lifts.

By utilizing the “gravity-assisted express lane,” she managed to reach the foot of the block in under four seconds, beating her previous record.

Local Stompers at the scene were reportedly furious that the body landed face-down, making it difficult to get a high-quality shot for their Telegram channels.

“I was hoping for a bit more gore to contrast with the greenery,” complained one bystander who spent twenty minutes adjusting his camera’s saturation.

Authorities have ruled out foul play, confirming that the pavement remains undefeated in its ongoing war against human skeletons.