In a groundbreaking medical discovery, Lance Corporal Lim has reportedly achieved a state of total brain death while still technically standing upright at Sungei Gedong Camp.

The 19-year-old conscript, tasked with guarding a literal pile of gravel and three rusted jerry cans, spent his shift memorising the exact number of cracks in the asphalt.

Sources indicate that Lim’s cognitive functions regressed to those of a damp sponge as he mentally composed an erotic novel featuring only a stray cat and a discarded SAF combat ration.

“Limpeh stand here so long, until I can see the atoms vibrating in the gate liao, f**k man,” whispered a hollow-eyed Lim while drooling onto his SAR 21.

MINDEF commanders praised the sentinel’s unwavering focus, noting that his ability to stare at a moth for three consecutive hours is the combat readiness required to defend a car park.

“Abit sian only what, at least he never go gao lat and start shoot the trees for no reason,” remarked Captain Soh.

At press time, Lim had begun a heated telepathic argument with a nearby lalang bush over who has the more useless purpose in life.