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Singapore Slurp: SFA Ends 27-Year Ban On Delicious Liquid Pig Murder
singapore news

SFA Ends 27-Year Ban On Delicious Liquid Pig Murder

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Sarah Lim
Thursday 2nd April 2026 @ 12:09 SST
ðŸĪŠ943

The Singapore Food Agency (SFA) has officially ended its 27-year ban on pig blood, finally allowing citizens to fulfill their dream of eating like a medieval plague survivor.

After decades of worrying about the Nipah virus, authorities have concluded that as long as the blood is "heat-treated," it is no longer a biohazard but a fucking delicacy.

Thirsty locals are already rejoicing at the prospect of consuming coagulated blocks of Thai pig juice that taste like a slaughterhouse floor.

"We decided that after 27 years, Singaporeans deserve to get absolutely hammered on animal fluids again," an SFA spokesperson said while wiping a dark stain off their chin.

If it can bleed, a Sinkie will inevitably find a way to make it a $5 premium add-on for their Laksa.

This satire is based on a real news story.

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