Local couple Marcus and Cheryl have officially replaced their dwindling sex life with the high-octane thrill of shared domestic servitude.

Experts suggest that for the average overworked Singaporean, the sight of a clean kitchen counter provides a more intense dopamine hit than any physical touch.

"Wah lau, last time we try to do the 'naughty-naughty' also feel like very sian one," Marcus remarked while aggressively polishing a window pane.

"Now, when I see her mop the floor until can see reflection, my heart go bedok-bedok, confirm more steam than any Tinder date."

The duo reportedly spent their third anniversary deep-cleaning the grease trap, an act so intimate it would make a French lover blush.

Cheryl admitted that the sound of a vacuum cleaner is now her primary aphrodisiac.

"You think sex is shiok? Try watching him scrub the grout without me asking, that one real climax lor."

The government is considering subsidising mops to boost the national birth rate, though most couples are too busy scouring pans to actually procreate.