Singaporean couples have officially transitioned from romance to high-performance logistics management.

New data suggests 98% of relationships now require a triple-signed PDF itinerary before a single kiss is exchanged.

Local boyfriend, Tan Ah Seng, reportedly suffered a nervous breakdown when his partner suggested "going with the flow" on Saturday night.

"I cannot liao, she say 'see how' then my Excel sheet all red error leh," Tan sobbed while clutching a portable charger.

The government is considering making Gantt charts a mandatory prerequisite for holding hands in public.

"If no Trello board, how to know when to touch the kuku bird?" asked relationship expert, Dr. Lim Siew Lan.

Spontaneity is now officially punishable by three strokes of the cane and a lifetime of eating cold porridge.

A single unplanned coffee date is now considered a greater threat to national security than a foreign cyberattack.