Singaporean couples have officially abandoned the bedroom in favour of the humid, armpit-scented embrace of the National Stadium.

Recent data suggests the average Sinkie’s libido is now exclusively triggered by the sight of a Category 1 VIP lanyard.

“Wah lau, my boyfriend’s performance in bed C-plus only, but when he buy Taylor Swift tickets, I instantly climax,” said local resident Jojo Lim.

Sociologists claim the rhythmic thumping of bass speakers is the only form of vibration most Singaporean women have experienced this decade.

Men are reportedly using high-fidelity earplugs during intercourse to pretend their wives are actually singing a Dua Lipa bridge.

“Better than sex sia, at least concert got encore, my man only got thirty seconds,” complained one sweaty fan.

The government is now considering replacing birth-rate incentives with commemorative tour wristbands to prevent total national sterility.