A local man has achieved peak fiscal efficiency by issuing a detailed 40-page invoice to his Tinder match after she failed to provide "adequate ROI."

Lim Keng Seng insisted on splitting the cost of the restaurant’s air-conditioning and GST, citing the rising cost of living and his complete lack of a soul.

"Eh hello, I pay half for the truffle fries, she must at least let me touch her neh neh right?" Lim remarked while calculating the depreciation value of his Uniqlo shirt.

His date responded by charging him a "wasted youth surcharge" and a "bad conversation penalty" of $50 per hour.

"I don't care lah, if I pay $15.50 plus GST, I want my money's worth in skin-to-skin contact or at least one finger holding," Lim screamed at the terrified waiter.

Authorities suggest that future Singaporean dates be conducted via Excel spreadsheets to avoid any accidental displays of generosity.