In a bold display of romantic capitalism, Singaporean men are currently liquidating their savings to secure a single night of mediocre intimacy.

Local boyfriend Jason Tan spent months of salary on a truffle-infused dinner at Marina Bay Sands just to achieve the bare minimum of physical contact.

The transaction, legally binding in the eyes of the Merlion, requires the male to nod at boring stories in exchange for a half-hearted fumble later.

"Wah lau, pay so much must get some action one leh," said Jason, while checking his empty bank balance.

"If I don't give him tonight, he sure complain I eat his money for nothing, so I just close eyes and think of K-drama lor," his girlfriend, Cheryl, remarked.

Experts suggest that the inflation of restaurant prices is directly correlated to the rising desperation of sex-starved local males.

By the time the dessert arrives, the couple has successfully avoided eye contact for three hours, ensuring the relationship survives another calendar year.