Singaporean couples are revolutionising foreplay by replacing romantic candles with industrial-strength floor detergent.

Local men are finding that the only path to their partner's bedroom is paved with meticulously folded laundry.

“Wah lao, my husband scrub the toilet bowl until so shiny I can see my face, then I feel damn horny already,” said 32-year-old administrative assistant, Serene Tan.

The National Sex Council suggests that the scent of bleach is now more arousing than expensive French perfumes.

Men who successfully navigate the complexities of a front-loading washing machine are reporting a 400% increase in sexual favours.

“Last time I try to buy flower, she say waste money, but I mop the floor one time, she say ‘come here, ah boy’,” claimed local resident, Lim Kopi.

Sexual experts confirm that the highest form of intimacy in the city-state is now an empty sink.