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Singapore Slurp: Singapore Celebrates Having 6 Restaurants No One Can Fucking Afford
singapore news

Singapore Celebrates Having 6 Restaurants No One Can Fucking Afford

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David Cheong
Thursday 26th March 2026 @ 08:01 SST
πŸ€ͺ1,155

Singaporeans are bursting with national pride today after learning they have six world-class venues to look at from the sidewalk while eating Gardenia bread at home.

Odette secured the No. 19 spot, proving that a 12-place drop in global rankings is still enough to make a private equity bro weep with joy over a $600 receipt.

The list serves as a crucial reminder that while the average citizen contemplates the rising price of eggs, a single teardrop of fermented jus in a gallery basement is worth more than your entire life.

β€œWah lau, No. 19 only ah?” asked local resident Gary Lim while picking his teeth with a bus ticket.

β€œLast time No. 7 now drop until like that, but still charge my whole month salary for one tiny bird liver, might as well go KFC better,” he added.

Chef-owner Julien Royer described the ranking as β€œhumbling,” which is the fine-dining industry term for still overcharging fifty dollars for a side of artisan butter.

This satire is based on a real news story.

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