Local couple Alvin and Cheryl have successfully liquidated their entire financial future to fund a four-hour banquet at a luxury hotel.

The $3,800-per-table extravaganza featured a lukewarm shark-fin alternative and a video montage of the couple looking slightly less miserable than they do now.

"Eh, I calculate already, if everyone give $250, we only lose $15k, so considered quite heng liao," Alvin remarked while filling out a high-interest payday loan application.

To ensure maximum ROI, the couple deployed debt collectors disguised as bridesmaids to harass any guest seen stuffing more than three prawns into their mouth.

Cheryl confirmed that the three-minute walk-in was worth the ensuing thirty years of financial servitude and eating plain crackers in the dark.

"My mother say must have face, but now my face so thin because no money buy rice," she added, weeping over an Excel spreadsheet.