Singapore’s Jewel Changi is now a high-risk zone for "lethal main character syndrome."

The $1.7 billion waterfall has become a literal graveyard for discarded dignity and iPhones.

Authorities are installing "Simp-Safety" nets to catch over-enthusiastic boyfriends falling to their deaths while filming "candid" walks.

Local witness, Tan Ah Kow, was seen scoffing near the Shake Shack.

"Wah lau, this girl stand there one hour just for one TikTok, her face like kenna stroke but she call it 'aesthetic'," he remarked.

"I tell her move a bit, she say I 'toxic' and ruining her vibe before almost falling into the lobang."

Jewel management confirms the vortex will soon be fueled entirely by the tears of failed influencers.