Singapore has triumphantly announced the easing of Nipah virus screening measures, effective February 23rd, following a painstaking investigation that revealed precisely zero cases in the city-state. Despite stringent airport temperature checks and urgent advisories triggered by outbreaks in India and Bangladesh, specifically West Bengal and Naogaon district, the virus apparently decided to bypass the famously meticulous nation.

An anonymous government official, clearly suppressing a triumphant giggle, stated, "We are immensely proud of our proactive, if slightly enthusiastic, response. Our data-driven approach confirms that we successfully prevented a virus that wasn't here in the first place."

Local resident, Mr. Tan Ah Kow, 58, chimed in, "Wah, whole time I thought so scary, must wear mask everywhere. Now say no Nipah? Like that waste time queue up for screening, can go eat char kway teow already!"

The Communicable Diseases Agency confirmed that while thermal scanners will be retired as glorified door heaters, vigilance will persist through health declarations. After all, one can never be too careful about a threat that never materialised.