In a devastating blow to Tiger Moms everywhere, a Gojek driver has confirmed that being a glorified chauffeur pays better than your shitty corporate job.

The driver revealed a $15,000 monthly take-home, finally proving that "studying hard" was just a psyop to keep Singaporeans from realizing that Gojek is the new Goldman Sachs.

Distraught honors students were seen burning their degree scrolls at Speakers’ Corner, realizing their starting pay is basically poverty compared to a guy who smells like stale Marlboros.

Aunties are now reportedly pressuring their sons to fail their A-Levels so they can start their lucrative careers as PHV captains before the next COE hike.

The driver’s secret to success involves holding his urine for twelve hours and developing a deep, romantic relationship with his GPS lady.

He plans to retire at forty, or whenever his spine finally snaps like a dry twig from sitting in a Prius all day.