Wealthy Singaporeans descended upon Sentosa this Sunday to perform the sacred ritual of eating until their vital organs surrender.

The $298 "Free-flow Champagne" brunch remains the only environment where the upper class behaves like starving scavengers fighting over a single oyster.

One socialite was reportedly seen attempting to siphon the entire chocolate fountain into her Hermès Birkin to ensure maximum value-for-money.

"I pay three hundred dollars leh, if I don't eat until I vomit, I feel like I rugi to the hotel," remarked local tai-tai Mrs. Wong, while vibrating from a mixture of Moët and pure entitlement.

"Aiyo, why you so slow, later the lobster finish then you know!" shouted a man while shoving twelve wagyu sliders into his cargo pants.

Ultimately, the only thing more bloated than the patrons' cholesterol-clogged arteries is the hotel's sheer audacity to charge extra for "premium oxygen."