The Singapore High Commissioner to Australia has expressed profound shock that an Australian radio station failed to run their script past a government censor first.

Calling the program "one-sided," the envoy insisted that true balance means only playing audio of a state official reading from a teleprompter for 45 minutes.

He defended the GRC system as a "fun, democratic puzzle" that totally doesn't exist to make the opposition disappear like a late Grab delivery.

"Wah lau, these Aussie guys think they so smart ah?" said one local bystander. "They don't know we like our democracy like our Milo – 90% sugar and totally controlled by the gahmen."

The envoy concluded that calling Singapore a "flawed democracy" is offensive because it implies anything here is allowed to be flawed.