The Ministry of Trade and Industry has announced a groundbreaking new food export consisting of concentrated hawker centre perspiration.

Marketed internationally as "Tropical Umami," the grey, viscous fluid is harvested via industrial sponges from the lower backs of laksa vendors.

Trade officials claim the high salt content and notes of synthetic polyester will finally give the British public a reason to stop eating boiled potatoes.

"Wah lau, this one is pure extract from 1pm lunch crowd, confirm plus chop better than soy sauce," explained local harvester, Ah Teck.

"Those people overseas eat so bland, I give them one drop of my armpit juice and they will finally wake up," he added.

The government expects this salty discharge to become more valuable than the Singapore Dollar by next quarter.

"Last time we buy water from others, now we sell our own sweat to the world, we damn power right?"