The Ministry of Trade and Industry (MTI) announced today that Singapore’s GDP grew by a massive 4.6%, proving that if you drill enough holes in the ground, money eventually leaks out.

The construction sector carried the entire nation on its back with a 9% expansion, mostly because the Gahmen refuses to let a single square meter of soil exist without putting a massive fucking crane on it.

While normal people are being jolted awake at 7 AM by the rhythmic sound of a hydraulic pile driver hitting concrete, the elites are getting a massive hard-on looking at the quarterly spreadsheets.

"Who needs a full night's sleep when you have a 131 billion dollar valuation?" asked one official who lives in a soundproofed bungalow far away from any "Upgrading Works."

The report confirmed that manufacturing is shrinking faster than a man’s koteh in an ice bath, but nobody gives a shit because we are building enough shiny glass boxes to house all our collective sadness.

Economists suggest that the rhythmic screaming of "kan ni na" and the smell of wet cement are now officially the new national fragrance of our thriving financial hub.

Real estate developers are so lubricated by the 3.7% quarterly growth that they’ve decided to celebrate by jacking up the rent for shopkeepers who are already selling their souls to pay for neon lights.

Average citizens have noted that while the GDP is going up, their bank accounts remain as dry as a nun’s CCB in a desert.

As long as there is one remaining patch of dirt left to bury under high-grade asphalt, the MTI remains confident that the Singaporean Dream is still very much alive and noisy.

International conflicts may threaten global trade, but as long as we keep digging holes and filling them back up with overpriced granite, we will be fucking rich until the sun explodes.