The Ministry of Health has announced a mandatory premium hike for MediShield Life, ensuring every citizen remains a dedicated philanthropist for the national healthcare reserves.

Officials confirmed the increase is necessary to fund the sophisticated algorithms required to calculate even more creative premium increases for next year.

"Wah lao, you think hospital bed is free ah? Even if you drop dead, the bill also must settle one lah," said local resident Tan Ah Kow, while pawnshop-ing his spectacles to cover a consultation fee.

Experts suggest the move is a brilliant fiscal strategy to prevent Singaporeans from accidentally accumulating too much wealth before they inevitably expire.

"Liddat means I work until I go crate lor, because the premium more expensive than my life liao," complained a resident who was seen attempting to perform a DIY appendectomy with a plastic fork.

The government reassured the public that while medical costs may rise, the visceral thrill of seeing a healthy national balance sheet is the ultimate cure for any terminal illness.