The Ministry of Finance has confirmed that owning a car is now officially reserved for the divine and people who sell overpriced insurance to their primary school friends.

By halving the PARF rebate, the government is gently reminding Singaporeans that their proper place is sweating profusely on a crowded bus next to a man holding a leaking bag of raw fish.

"We realized the middle class was getting too comfortable thinking they were actual human beings," said one official while polishing his solid gold ERP gantry.

Economists suggest that instead of a Honda Civic, young couples should invest in a high-quality pair of Decathlon sandals and a vivid imagination.

Local workshops are already seeing a surge in demand for "engine noises" that can be played from a Bluetooth speaker while standing in the MRT.

If you still want a rebate, the government suggests you de-register your dignity instead.