The Singapore dream has officially transitioned into a state of collective hallucination.

Fresh university graduates are celebrating a stunning $4,500 median salary that absolutely none of them are actually receiving.

As full-time employment rates crater, authorities suggest that being unemployed with a "steady theoretical wage" is the ultimate flex for the TikTok generation.

“Wah, damn song man,” said one Marketing graduate currently moonlighting as a professional seat-chopper at a hawker centre.

“My imaginary payslip is solid $4.5k leh, so what if my real bank account only got five dollars and some expired rewards points?”

Economists claim this "Schrödinger’s Salary" allows Sinkies to feel elite while surviving exclusively on their parents’ kindness and leftover economic surveys.