Local estate agents have reached a new peak of depravity by marketing the space beneath active MRT gantries as "ultra-prime residential suites."

The listing describes the three-square-foot concrete patch as a "high-velocity transit-integrated loft" with zero commute time.

"Wah lao, five steps only to the train leh!" exclaimed property agent, Gary Tan.

"Where else you can find shelter, 24-hour security, and built-in white noise from the gantry beep-beep?"

Over four thousand desperate citizens have already placed million-dollar bids for the right to sleep while commuters trample over their faces.

"Is very breezy one, don't need air-con," noted one prospective tenant who currently lives in a converted rubbish bin.

Property experts predict that by 2026, living inside a station’s automated toilet will require a minimum monthly salary of twenty thousand dollars.