A 51-year-old visionary has been charged for attempting the impossible: living in Singapore without the government knowing exactly which toilet he is currently using.

The resident sold his Toa Payoh flat but continued using the address for moneylender loans, proving home is where the heart is, but credit is where the old IC says it is.

In Singapore, failing to report a move within 28 days is treated with the same legal severity as a small-scale nuclear insurgency.

“Aiyah, I just lazy to type on the website, then suddenly police come catch,” the borrower told witnesses.

“But okay lor, at least now I get five years free staycation in Changi Prison, damn worth it!”

Authorities reminded citizens that privacy is a myth and their identity card is effectively a state-issued leash.