Local romanticist Kelvin Teo shocked diners by proposing with a 5-carat CPF Ordinary Account statement yesterday.

Instead of a diamond, Kelvin presented a laminated spreadsheet detailing his projected retirement sums and annual interest rates.

His girlfriend, Cheryl, immediately collapsed into a puddle of pure, unadulterated fiscal ecstasy.

"Walao, his Medisave alone can cover three C-sections and one heart bypass, how to say no?" Cheryl gushed while licking the ink off the paper.

Experts suggest that in Singapore, a high credit score is more effective than Viagra for sustained arousal.

"Diamond is just carbon, but 4% risk-free interest is forever," Kelvin whispered while sliding a gold-plated ATM card onto her finger.

The couple celebrated the engagement by immediately filing a joint tax return in the middle of a crowded food court.