Singapore’s elite are hailing the MBA as the ultimate $150,000 lobotomy for the corporate soul. Local universities have perfected a curriculum where students pay the price of a luxury car to learn how to say "synergy" without crying.

Graduate Daryl Lim confirmed the degree’s ROI is purely cosmetic. "Last time I just normal staff," Daryl explained. "Now I got MBA, I can talk cock in high-SES way. My boss ask for report, I give him 'holistic framework' and then go toilet hide. This piece of paper confirm plus chop useless, but at least my LinkedIn look steady pom pi pi."

Employers agree, noting MBA grads are now 40% more likely to be replaced by an Excel macro.