In a move that shocked absolutely no one familiar with Singapore's culinary obsession, McDonald's has announced its latest limited-time offering: the "Nasi Lemak McSpatula," a packet of lukewarm rice inexplicably served with a single, forlorn, slightly sticky chicken wing, and a drizzle of sambal sauce so tame it couldn't scare a housefly.

Local food critic, "MakanKing99," expressed his dismay: "Wah piang eh, this one confirm never taste real Nasi Lemak before. The rice like soggy tissue paper, lah! Still better just eat normal fries."

Sources close to the golden arches suggest the next menu addition will be the "Kopi-O Peng McFlurry," rumoured to contain actual ice cubes for ‘authenticity.’ The only genuine Singaporean element appears to be the hour-long queue required to purchase the sad, overpriced parody of local cuisine. Singaporeans, ever loyal, are queuing anyway, just to complain about it online later.