Singapore’s Ministry of Education (MOE) has announced a radical new initiative to streamline the nation’s relentless pursuit of academic excellence: mandatory, 24/7 tuition. Effective next term, all students will be legally required to attend 'The National After-School Enrichment Fortress’ (NASEF), a facility where the only scheduled break is a 15-minute nap under the desk. “We realised the gap between school hours and tuition centre hours was inefficient,” stated a spokesperson. “Now, we have eliminated that gap. It’s pure pedagogical throughput.” Parents, already juggling three simultaneous enrichment schedules, were reportedly relieved. One mother, spotting a free parking lot near a tuition centre, exclaimed, “Wah lau eh, so lucky! Where got time to cook dinner? Better just go queue for P6 Math again!” Authorities assure the public this is merely ‘optimisation’ for global competitiveness.