Local middle-manager Alvin Tan has successfully traded his entire life savings for a fancy paperweight and a crippling caffeine addiction at a top-tier business school.

The prestigious program has finally taught him the vital corporate skill of nodding aggressively while contributing absolutely nothing to society.

Alvin’s primary takeaway from the grueling course was that $150,000 is a small price to pay for the privilege of adding "Disruptive Innovator" to his LinkedIn.

"I thought can get C-suite role, but now only get more arrows from my boss," Alvin complained while crying into his lukewarm kopi.

"Study so hard for what, end up my group project mate also don't want to reply my WhatsApp, sian ah."

Experts confirm an MBA is the most efficient way to ensure your CV is ignored in a more expensive font.