The Urban Redevelopment Authority has unveiled plans to reclaim land until the South China Sea is reduced to a communal foot soak.

By 2040, the government expects the national coastline to expand so aggressively that citizens will be able to stroll to Sumatra for a cheap haircut.

"Wah lau, last time go East Coast Park can see ships, now only can see my neighbour digging nose in his living room," complained local resident Uncle Teck.

Authorities confirmed that filling the ocean with sand is the only way to ensure every billionaire on Earth has a sea-view penthouse that overlooks another sea-view penthouse.

"Liddat steady lah, next time no need Passport, just walk over and buy cheap groceries can already," noted one heartland resident.

The project aims to eventually turn the entire planet into a single, massive, air-conditioned Singaporean shopping mall.