The Singapore Sailing Federation (SSF) has announced that they are looking into how “sexual misconduct” managed to capsize their pristine PR image faster than a laser boat in a monsoon.

While the police investigate whether any anchors were dropped in the wrong ports, the SSF is busy updating a ‘Safe Sport’ PDF that absolutely nobody ever reads.

“We are fully committed to a safe environment, unless of course, the wind is blowing towards a massive lawsuit,” said a spokesperson while frantically deleting Instagram comments.

Parents are reportedly shocked to learn that sending their children into the middle of the ocean with horny teenagers and zero supervision might result in more than just a bronze medal.

One official noted that the “Unified Code” clearly states that non-consensual touching is only allowed if you’re trying to stop someone from falling overboard or if you’re a high-ranking coach.

National youth sailors have been reminded that “Full Mast” is strictly a nautical term and not a fucking suggestion for the dormitory.

“Kan ni na, I thought they were learning how to knot ropes, not how to tie someone up,” commented one concerned father who spent $50k on his son's competitive training.

The federation has urged the public to respect the privacy of everyone involved, mostly because they don’t want people to realize the “Safe Sport Commission” is just three people and a dusty printer in a Kallang basement.

As investigations continue, the SSF is considering adding a new compulsory module to their curriculum: “How to Keep Your Lan Jiao in Your Shorts 101.”

Meanwhile, the victim’s Instagram story remains the most effective form of justice in a country where official reports go to die in a mahogany filing cabinet.