TODAY'S

SLURP STATS:

🟒READING NOW
8,962
πŸ”SHARES TODAY
1,323
❀️LIKES TODAY
3,616
Singapore Slurp: Singapore Sinkies Praise Ex-Gambler For Dealing Flyers Like A Casino Pro
singapore news

Singapore Sinkies Praise Ex-Gambler For Dealing Flyers Like A Casino Pro

πŸ§”πŸ»β€β™‚οΈ
Marcus Tan
Thursday 5th March 2026 @ 12:00 SST
πŸ€ͺ810

A viral video of a man dealing flyers into HDB letterboxes like a blackjack pro has Singaporeans wondering if the casino is finally hiring retirees again.

The "ex-deck shuffler" was caught using his lightning-fast fingers to penetrate every unlocked hole in the void deck, providing more action than a cheap Geylang massage parlor.

Experts say his ability to sniff out an unlocked mailbox is the most useful skill a Singaporean has developed since the invention of the "Chope" tissue paper.

While most Sinkies complain about junk mail, others are just relieved to see someone actually working harder than a Civil Servant on a Friday afternoon.

The man’s precision proves that years of losing your entire CPF at Marina Bay Sands can finally be monetized into a thriving career in professional littering.

Local authorities are reportedly considering him for a National Day Award in the category of "Highly Productive Nuisance."

If only he could deal BTO flats as quickly as he deals discount pizza coupons, the housing crisis would be solved by tea break.

This satire is based on a real news story.

πŸ’¬VENT ZONE(0 comments)

Loading comments...

SUBSCRIBE TO OUR LIES

Get 100% organic, locally-sourced misinformation delivered daily.

Singapore SlurpSingapore ComedySingapore Satire