The Singapore government has finally launched a "Defensive Shield" consisting of a $50 SkillsFuture credit and a sturdy cardboard box for those displaced from their CBD cubicles.

Officials noted that while AI can write better emails than any human, it lacks the uniquely Singaporean talent for "taking MC" the moment a difficult task appears.

The new wage insurance scheme will ensure retrenched PMETs can continue their lifestyle of staring blankly at Excel sheets until 9 PM to impress bosses who no longer exist.

"We must protect our workers from the fact that a microwave with ChatGPT is more charismatic than most middle-managers," said a spokesperson while installing a CPU into his own neck.

The shield also includes a "Resilience Kit" containing a single Tiger Balm patch and a voucher for a one-way bus ticket to Jurong Island.

Singaporeans are encouraged to upskill immediately by learning how to efficiently polish the chrome balls of their robot replacements.