The Urban Redevelopment Authority has officially cordoned off 26-year-old Cheryl Lim’s bedroom after she failed to secure a husband by the fiscal deadline.

Under the new "Expired Goods (Human)" Act, any Singaporean female remaining single past her biological shelf-life is now legally considered a municipal eyesore.

"Wah lau, I tell her already, don't so picky, now she become like Old Changi Hospital liao, nobody want to enter," said her mother, Mdm Tan, while scrubbing the floor to remove the scent of failure.

Experts suggest that these biological ruins serve as a grim warning to younger girls who think a career is more valuable than a husband with a mid-range Toyota.

"Last time I thought I very power, now my face like Orchard Towers after 4am, sibeh jialat," Cheryl sobbed, as workers installed a blue commemorative plaque on her forehead.

The government plans to convert these abandoned females into high-density storage units for luxury handbags and the nation’s dwindling sense of hope.