The world’s most successful boy band has released an animated video about nineteenth-century history, finally giving Singaporean fans a reason to pretend they can read.

The K-pop juggernaut confirmed four concert dates this December, prompting local enthusiasts to immediately list their non-essential internal organs on Carousell.

While the new album is inspired by the folk song Arirang, most Sinkies are significantly more interested in the 2026 tour than cultural heritage.

“Aiyoh, I don’t care about 1896 or whatever, as long as I see my ‘oppa’ can already,” screamed one dehydrated teenager currently camping outside a shopping mall.

“If I cannot get tickets, I will literally stop breathing until I turn purple like the lightstick, confirm plus chop.”