Local resident Lim Kopi has achieved financial nirvana by spending 112% of his monthly salary on comprehensive insurance riders.

Lim’s latest policy specifically covers him against the catastrophic financial burden of accidentally living past the age of eighty-five.

"Steady lah, if you don't buy this 'Eternal Life' plan, your bank account will be totally gone case when you cannot die," his agent whispered while gently stroking Lim’s credit card.

The policy ensures that if Lim reaches age ninety without a heart attack, the insurance company will provide a complimentary cyanide capsule to protect his assets.

"I already got sixty-nine plans, but my agent say if I don't buy this one, I am basically one big siao lang playing with fire," Lim explained while shivering in his underwear to save electricity.

The Monetary Authority of Singapore has officially designated Lim’s bank account as a high-yield feeding trough for predatory financial consultants.