Local musician Willis Loye has successfully exported Singapore’s most precious natural resource to Taiwan: the uncontrollable urge to hit a misbehaving teenager with a stick.

While most Singaporeans back home would have simply recorded the knife-wielding youth to complain about the lack of police presence on Facebook, Loye decided to actually get his hands dirty.

Channeling the unbridled fury of a Primary 4 Discipline Master, Loye chased the 17-year-old through a temple crowd, armed with nothing but a piece of wood and a complete lack of self-preservation.

The musician admitted he was initially worried bystanders would mistake him for the actual criminal, a classic local anxiety usually felt when accidentally walking through a shop’s security sensor with an unpaid Mars bar.

"I saw him waving at the crowd with a knife and thought, 'This is really going to mess up my encore,'" Loye didn’t actually say, but he definitely felt it in his soul.

The suspect is currently receiving medical attention, while Loye is waiting for the Singapore government to award him a medal that he can’t even use to offset his utility bills.

Friends say Loye’s bravery comes from years of surviving the brutal, high-stakes environment of pretending to enjoy experimental temple music.

Taiwanese media has hailed the incident as a triumph, unaware that Loye was likely just venting years of frustration over the current price of eggs in the heartlands.