Local graduate Cheryl Tan has successfully rebranded her three-year stint of being utterly unemployable as a "dynamic period of non-linear professional growth."

After receiving 500 automated rejection letters, Cheryl realized that HR departments weren't ignoring her, but were actually providing "extended periods of silence" for her to reflect on her useless Communications degree.

"I used to think crying in a Funan mall toilet was a mental breakdown, but now I know it’s just ‘emotional agility’ training for the modern economy," she explained while checking if her blood was eligible for cash donation.

She maintains that eating plain cream crackers for dinner isn't a sign of poverty, but a "strategic caloric recalibration" to sharpen her hunger for future corporate exploitation.

The government has lauded her spirit, noting that massive student debt is simply a "financial motivational tool" to ensure Sinkies never feel the dangerous urge to sleep.