Cheryl Tan, a local marketing executive, has achieved the national aesthetic peak by rebonding her hair into a two-dimensional plane.

The twelve-hour chemical procedure has rendered her tresses so impossibly straight they have begun cutting through solid matter.

Emergency services were called to Orchard Road after Cheryl accidentally severed a mannequin’s arm while flicking her fringe.

"Wah lau, I tell the stylist I want straight, but I never know it become sharp like kitchen knife," Cheryl said while wearing a neck brace to prevent self-injury.

"Every time I walk, I must be careful or else I slice my own arm, but at least no more frizz in this humid weather, sibei worth it."

The Singapore government has since classified the average Singaporean girl’s hair as a Category A controlled weapon.

Citizens are advised to maintain a three-metre radius from any female sporting the "silky-smooth" look to avoid accidental limb loss.

"My boyfriend say he scared to hug me now, but I don't care because my hair damn shiny," Cheryl remarked, accidentally carving a hole in a nearby bus stop.

Local salons are reportedly charging a premium for the "Lethal Sheen" package, citing the high cost of industrial-grade acid.