The news of BTS’s triumphant Seoul comeback has triggered a nationwide domestic crisis as thousands of Singaporean women officially filed for divorce to clear mental and physical space for seven Korean men who don’t know they exist.

Legal firms in Raffles Place reported a 400% surge in filings, mostly citing "my husband is a potato who peaked during his own National Service twenty years ago."

“Lao niang wait so long for them to finish army leh!” screamed 42-year-old fan Mavis Tan while incinerating her marriage certificate.

“My husband go reservist only know how to eat canteen food and talk cock. Jungkook go army become even more alpha. You see the abs or not? Please come take me!”

The government is currently bracing for a complete birth rate flatline until the December 2026 tour.