Singapore’s medical community has declared a national emergency as thousands of local women have officially mutated into sentient jugs of bottomless Mimosa.

The ritual of "boujee brunching" has reached its terminal stage, with females willingly sacrificing their dignity for a single sourdough slice and a sprig of decorative kale.

"Wah lau, if the egg yolk don’t drip like my tears when I see the bill, I don’t want leh," said 24-year-old influencer, Cheryl Tan, while ignoring her $28 cold brew.

Experts suggest that photographing a truffle fry is now the primary source of dopamine for any Singaporean female with a functional Instagram account.

Witnesses at Dempsey Hill report groups of women staring at shakshuka for three hours until it reached the exact temperature of a corpse.

"The lighting here is damn solid, so the $40 lukewarm coffee is totally worth it lor," added Cheryl’s friend.