In a desperate bid to remain relevant in a marriage market flooded by more "efficient" models from Vietnam and the PRC, local girls have announced a drastic reduction in emotional labour overheads.

The new 'Local Wife 2.0' package includes a guaranteed silence window after the husband returns from work and a one-time waiver of the mandatory luxury handbag birthday tribute.

"Wah lau, these foreign girls come here with their 'yes dear' and 'can dear' attitude, make us look like the villain," said 28-year-old marketing executive Cheryl Tan.

"I tell you ah, I can also cook one, just that I don't want only; but now for my boyfriend, I will learn how to fry egg without burning the house down," Cheryl added.

Analysts suggest that while the local product remains significantly more expensive than the Vietnamese alternative, the prestige of owning a spouse who can navigate an Excel sheet remains a key selling point.

"PRC wife very sweet, but later they take all your money and run—at least local girl like me, the money stays in our joint account mah!" shouted a bystander.

The Singaporean Female Association also confirmed a temporary ceasefire on comparing boyfriends to their more successful, Porsche-driving cousins.