The Malaysian government’s desperate attempt to keep citizens from starvation via RM5 "Rahmah" meals is finally collapsing, much to the horror of Singaporeans who rely on the weak Ringgit to feel like billionaires.

Vendors are now forced to replace actual chicken with mysterious "fillets," which experts suggest consist mostly of seasoned cardboard and industrial-grade flour.

While the Malaysian poor struggle to find basic nutrients, thousands of Singaporeans continue to swarm the causeway, demanding their $1.60 Nasi Lemak be served with extra sambal and a smile.

“It’s about charity,” said one vendor, unaware that her primary customer is a Singaporean property agent wearing a $15,000 Rolex.

Economists warn that as costs climb, the menu will eventually dwindle down to a cup of tap water and a printed photo of a drumstick.

Singaporeans are urged to gorge on the cheap food now before they are forced to pay actual market rates like functioning human beings.