In a shocking display of fiscal recklessness, thousands of Singaporeans were reportedly found this morning trapped in MRT gantries, their EZ-link cards displaying a tragic balance of precisely S$0.02. Authorities are baffled by the phenomenon, suggesting it stems from a collective national amnesia regarding the actual cost of a 2.3km bus ride.

“*Aiyo, I thought I had enough lah! Just one more stop, maybe the sensor power up slowly, can get through one time,*” lamented Mr. Tan, who has been stuck for three hours.

Transport Minister has issued an urgent advisory: "If your balance is below $3.00, simply throw the card into the nearest rubbish bin and purchase a new one. This is Singapore; we value speed over S$5.00." The incident has caused minor delays across the island, leading to intense, silent tutting from commuters whose schedules have been thrown into glorious, utterly predictable chaos.