Following reports of Batam immigration officers demanding 1 million rupiah bribes, the Singapore government has urged citizens to remain calm and act like the most annoying customers on earth.

The Ministry of Foreign Affairs advised travellers to ask for an official receipt for their illegal extortion payment, presumably so they can claim it as a business expense or show their wives why they have no money left for a 'special' massage.

Local authorities suggested that if an officer asks for $85 to enter the country, you should immediately demand to speak to a supervisor, because nothing scares a corrupt third-world official more than a middle-aged Sinkie in a Uniqlo AIRism shirt going full 'Karen' mode.

Experts noted that 1 million rupiah is actually a fucking steal, considering the same amount in Singapore would only buy you three minutes of legal parking in the CBD or a single artisanal sourdough toast in Tiong Bahru.

"I asked the officer if he takes PayLah or if I can get LinkPoints for this transaction," said one kiasu traveller who was later detained for three hours for being a cheeky cibai.

The Indonesian Directorate General of Immigration has provided a WhatsApp number for reports, which is reportedly managed by a bot that automatically replies with a laughing emoji and a picture of a middle finger.

Singaporeans are also reminded to stay 'procedural' rather than 'confrontational,' which is civil-service speak for 'don't scream KNN at the man holding your passport until you are safely back on the ferry.'

If the bribe is still too expensive, travellers are encouraged to remind the officer that they are Singaporean and therefore deserve a 1-for-1 discount or at least a free set of Tupperware.

The Singapore Consulate-General in Batam remains available for assistance, though they will likely just remind you that you’re the idiot who paid $50 for a ferry ride to a place that looks like a GTA map with more humidity.

At press time, several Singaporean uncles were seen at the Batam Centre terminal trying to negotiate the 1 million rupiah bribe down to 750,000 and a half-eaten packet of Bengawan Solo pandan cake.