The Urban Redevelopment Authority has unveiled plans to physically detach the North from the mainland to prevent Yishun’s chaotic energy from tainting Sentosa’s property prices.

Residents of the South, who measure their self-worth exclusively by the number of zeros in their bank balance, have complained that even looking towards Woodlands causes their caviar to spoil.

"Eh, I see those North people come Orchard, I straightaway hold my LV bag tight tight," commented socialite Mrs. Tan.

"Their aura very low SES one, later my poodle catch their poverty germs how?"

Conversely, North-siders argue that living near the Malaysian border allows them to pretend they aren't trapped in a gilded cage.

"Siao ah, stay South so expensive for what? I take five minutes can go JB buy cheap toilet paper and feel like king," laughed Woodlands resident Ah Beng.

The government has since proposed a "Peasant Toll" for any vehicle older than three years attempting to enter Keppel Bay.